Disciplining a toddler is a lot like juggling sticks of dynamite, you never know when it’s goingto go according to plan or when it’s going to blow up in your face.How do we remain calm as the toddler puts on an award winning theatrical performance onthe kitchen floor or even worse, the middle of the supermarket?Tantrums are one of the trademarks of a toddler and quite normal for this age. Toddlers areperceptive and smart and the tantrum is designed to elicit the most reaction that they can getfrom you.Once the tantrum starts, its length and intensity depends entirely upon the reaction thetoddler gets from you.Centre stage is a strong willed toddler, who cannot get what he desperately wants. It isprobably something that seems very important to him. He assesses the situation and seesthat you are not giving in and so he launches into a spectacular performance. Theperformance requires an audience and he will look over his shoulder to make sure you arewatching. The more you react, the more the tantrum escalates.Tantrums start around the first birthday and are regular occurrences throughout the toddleryears. Tantrums in the young toddler usually happens because they don’t know any better orthey feel hugely frustrated with not being able to communicate their wants and needscoherently.In older toddlers, the 3 to 4 year old age group, tantrums can be more intentional, used as away to specifically irritate mom and dad.While younger toddlers run out of steam quite quickly and the tantrum is short lived, theolder toddler can carry on for long periods and the tantrum can build in intensity. What to do:Many parents feel frustrated and helpless because no matter what they do, they cannotseem to reason with their toddler or stop the tantrum. Many parents feel embarrassed whenthe toddler throws tantrums in public, having to deal with the toddler and onlookers is notpleasant.The way you deal with the tantrum depends on the age of the child, where it is happeningand the reason for the tantrum.Before the age of 2, when there is not much thought or reason behind tantrums, it is best tojust divert the child. For example, the child is on the floor screaming, you could divert bysaying… ‘Look, I think that may be daddy, I heard a car, let’s go and look. When of cause it’snot daddy, but the child is now quiet and walking with you, you can say… ‘Oh dear it isn’tdaddy, he is still on his way, but let’s look at all the cars passing by, how many cars arethere, I see a blue car’… and so forth. It is different for a 3 year old. At this age they can use a tantrum just too openly defy theparent’s authority. This is not acceptable and must be dealt with firmly, using discipline todiffuse the tantrum.Techniques for calming a tantrum: Diversion – The first thing with any age is to divert their attention to something elsethey will find more interesting. Ignoring – Should diversion not work, walk away to another section of the roomwhere you can still keep an eye on the child, but do not make eye contact. Pretend tobe ignoring the child. You can sing, wash the dishes or fold laundry, just do not givethe child any attention until he calms down and approaches you calmly. Now youmay think this will never happen, however as soon as the toddler sees he is notgetting any reaction from you, he will in most cases stop and come to you for comfortand hugs. In this case forgive and forget, give him a hug and move on, do not praisehim for stopping as that may warrant another outburst. What he did was wrong, youwant to show the child that you love him and forgive him, but gushing at this pointsends the wrong message. Time out- If the above does not work and your toddler is kicking you, screaming andgoing crazy, move to time out. Before you lose your grip, it’s time to put some spacebetween yourself and the toddler. Gently lift him up and take him to his room orwherever time out is, be serious, not angry or aggressive and tell the toddler that heis to stay in his room and he can only come out once he has calmed down. Thenleave the room swiftly and wait. Once the fireworks are done and the child comes out, forgive and forget, rememberits futile reasoning with a toddler.When out in the supermarket, go down to the child’s level and tell them that you want themto stop this behavior now, or you will leave immediately and he won’t have the privilege ofcoming to the shops with you again. In severe cases you may actually need to leave yourtrolley and take the child home immediately. If you do this once, the child will know that youmean business and future outings will be easier.The basic steps that parents can follow include diversion, selective deafness, selectiveblindness and time out. It is very important to remember that the biggest mistake you canmake is to give in to the child’s manipulation and dramatic antics. You will end up reinforcingthe very behavior you want to change.All of this must be executed calmly with love and gentleness. We must not forget thattoddlers are still learning to control their behaviours and we are the adults, we need to modelthe correct behaviour for them.The good news is that tantrums usually stop at around 4 years old, it does not last forever.

SPD is a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving and responding toinformation that comes in through the senses. Some people with sensory processing disorder are oversensitive to things in theirenvironment. Common sounds may be painful or overwhelming. The light touch of ashirt may irritate the skinOthers with sensory processing disorder may: Be uncoordinated Bump into things Be unable to tell where their limbs are in space (proprioception) Be hard to engage in conversation or playSensory processing problems are usually identified in children. But they can also affectadults. Sensory processing problems are commonly seen in developmental conditionslike autism spectrum disorder.Sensory processing disorder is not recognized as a stand-alone disorder. But manyexperts think that should change.Sensory processing disorder may affect one sense, like hearing, touch, or taste. Or itmay affect multiple senses. Children can be over or under responsive to the sensethey have difficulties with.Like many conditions, the symptoms of sensory processing disorder exist on aspectrum. In some children, for example, the sound of a drill or vacuum cleaner mayset them off. Some children may cover their ears, some may run and hide under atable. In severe cases the child may even vomit.Some children cannot deal with the textures of certain foods and may not be able totolerate it in their mouths.On the opposite side, some children with SPD may not be responsive to sensorystimuli, they may fail to respond to extreme heat, cold or even pain.Many children with sensory processing disorder start out as fussy babies who becomeanxious as they grow older. These children often don’t handle change well. They mayfrequently throw tantrums or have meltdowns.Many children have symptoms like these from time to time. But therapists consider adiagnosis of sensory processing disorder when the symptoms become severe enoughto affect normal functioning and disrupt everyday life.Treatment depends on a child’s individual needs. But in general, it involves helpingchildren do better at activities they’re normally not good at and helping them get used tothings they can’t tolerate.Treatment for sensory processing problems is called sensory integration. The goal ofsensory integration is to challenge a child in a fun, playful way so they can learn torespond appropriately and function more normally. Children with suspected sensory processing disorder should be assessed and willbenefit greatly from early Occupational Therapy intervention.Because these children may be extra sensitive to touch and textures. A sensory binenables your child to get used to different tactile experiences. It can also promotevisual perception, language, and fine motor skills. This is something you can do athome.Some calming strategies include breathing techniques and deep pressure massage,Visual schedules and social stories can be used to explain sensory stresses orinappropriate sensory seeking behaviours, and to teach coping strategies.Some children grow out of these issues completely. Some children, especially thoseon the autism spectrum, may have them their whole lives. But as they get older, theyusually learn to cope with many of the things that bothered them as young children.Sometimes as people grow up, they are able to handle distress better than theycould as children.